By Mark F. Gray
Only the ultimate control freak that is Tiger Woods would be arrogant enough to stage a face saving State Of My Recovery address at the PGA Tour headquarters. Like the President following the State of the Union he won’t take any questions as his agent Mark Steinberg has stated “this is not a press conference”.
So what is it then? Have his handlers coached him up and prepared a statement that answers all the questions inquiring minds want to know or does he remain stoic and evasive? Is the whole made for the internet TV extravaganza a contrived attempt at saving corporate sponsorships for the PGA and rebuilding his brand or does he open up and show the world his human side?
Whatever the case there are questions that have to be answered if Woods really wants to be perceived as truly contrite. The same group of people that allowed this public relations nightmare to snowball into a full blown mess are now responsible to make sure he takes ownership of his transgressions. I’ve done the work for them free of charge.
1. When did you realize you were a sex addict?
Seriously, is this an addiction that requires cold turkey or just a mirage designed to gain sympathy? Frankly, it looks like a carefully orchestrated defense strategy designed to minimize alimony payments by a well paid divorce attorney like Gloria Allred. Could another man with that many “transgressions” sell that excuse to his wife without a billion dollar bank account?
2. How were you treated for this addiction?
There is no methadone clinic for sex addicts so to kick there must have been 45 days of gladiator movies and hardware magazines, right. You have to wonder if he was left to his own devices or if they provided some for him.
3. How many strokes did it take to make the cut?
With a roster that includes bartenders, pancake waitresses, and porn stars the criteria for those who make the roster for this version of the Tiger slam is something that bears answering.
4. Did your stable of jump offs prefer the fairway or the rough?
Most golfers score by keeping their drives in the short grass but as is the case on tour Tiger was able to save strokes out of the long stuff as well. No sense in worrying about whether he made the greens in regulation because this whole sordid escapade is out of bounds.
5. With this being an addiction, how can we be sure there won’t be a relapse?
Most recovering addicts live with fear of being one step away from slipping up. Is there a sex rehab support group or sponsor so that if those demons return he’s got someone to call and won’t transgress again?
Woods has been coached up and programmed his whole life to perform at his best under pressure. This time for his family’s sake I hope its from the heart and not from bullet points on a cheat sheet.