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Lip Sync Battle host, stunning model, social media clapback queen and best friend in our heads Chrissy Teigen revealed to the world that she is suffering from postpartum depression.

In an essay penned for Glamour, Teigen describes her post-partum diagnosis after the birth of her daughter Luna with husband John Legend.

Teigen’s stuggles may comes as a surprise to her fans, who expect her hilarious candor and unapologetic social media posts. But the 31-year-old new mommy explains there was a sadder story rumbling behind her smile.

When Teigen returned to work as ‘Lip Sync Battle’ co-host after the birth of her daughter, she explained how grateful she was that the cast and crew accommodated for her needs as a mother. But she was still cranky and in physical pain.

“I would be in my dressing room, sitting in a robe, getting hair and makeup done, and a crew member would knock on the door and ask: “Chrissy, do you know the lyrics to this song?” And I would lose it. Or “Chrissy, do you like these cat ears, or these panda hands?” And I’d be like: “Whatever you want. I don’t care.” They would leave. My eyes would well up and I would burst into tears. My makeup artist would pat them dry and give me a few minutes,” she explained.

“I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy,” Teigen continues.

“I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: “Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom.”

The supermodel details the hurting bones, nausea and anxiety that came with everyday life. When doctors came up with no answers, Teigen began to question herself.

“Am I making this all up? Is this pain even real anymore?” she thought.

Before the holidays, Teigen was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety. After learning the cause of her symptoms, Teigen made the decision to be open about her battle with PD to hopefully encourage other women who are suffering.

“I’m speaking up now because I want people to know it can happen to anybody and I don’t want people who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone. I also don’t want to pretend like I know everything about postpartum depression, because it can be different for everybody. But one thing I do know is that—for me—just merely being open about it helps. This has become my open letter.”

You can read more here.

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